Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
