Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
