Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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