When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
