sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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