I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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