new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
