Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Come see our sink grown plant.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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