Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
