You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
