How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
