If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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