We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
A+ Viking dick
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
