let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
