There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
