I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No...this little piggys going to the bar
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
