my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This baby is an asshole
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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