Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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