so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
