you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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