I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
