Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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