I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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