Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
