I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
