He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
