This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
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take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
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You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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