i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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