My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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