In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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