ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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