why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
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Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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