I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
