what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
