I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
