Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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