Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
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They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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