Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize