i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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