thus making me awesome and them whores
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
