She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
