So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
