This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
