White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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