I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
