Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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