The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
