She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
