good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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