we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so let's talk penis.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
