Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
