ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I accidentally burped into my bong.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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