also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
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I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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