Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize