thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You were trust falling into bushes
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
