if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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