how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
