We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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