He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
