ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
