We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
