I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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