problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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