Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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