I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize