is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
